Over two feet of snow. Storm Jonas. Blizzard of the century. All highlighted stories we, in Baltimore, Maryland, have heard leading up to this horrific snow storm. Though the news stations, weather channels, and meteorologists have done a superb job at preparing us for this dreadful weekend, it was very hard to believe it would actually happen. That, or I was just in such denial in an effort to block the thought of being locked in my house for two full days with our 4 and 2-year-old sons.
For a rigid and routined person, the thought of not having the ability to plan my day out, decide which place we will take the kids, and accomplish my typical daily tasks, can be very scary. In addition to the inability of controlling the structure of my day, the feeling of being trapped in a house when I struggle to just sit on the couch and relax sounds tortuous.
My day began with an email from the gym. It stated the facility would remain closed today. To actually see the writing and know I couldn’t take my kids to the day care for an hour or so, while I exercised and let out some steam, made it a reality. How would I possibly be able to get my workout in? I rely on it to start off my morning right, feel good, and then proceed on with my day. I need it on a normal day, but I especially need it on a day I am locked inside! Oy, do I get shpilkes!
So, my family went outside to see the damage that “Jonas” had done. Two feet of snow! They weren’t kidding. And, actually, the meteorologists did get it wrong – it was going to be far more than two feet! We started shoveling. I got in the zone, and once I start something, I can’t stop! And this wasn’t a small project! And, then, I heard my 2-year-old crying. Poor thing was freezing, with icicles on his eyelashes, and appeared so uncomfortable. “Austin, sweetie. You’re ok. It’s just snow. Why don’t you play with Levi?” is what kept coming out of my mouth. But, what that really meant was, “Austin, please find something to entertain yourself. I am on a mission, and cannot stop.”
An hour passed. I felt like I hadn’t made any progress, but I had. Austin cried, then laughed, then cried, but I was still determined to complete the what seemed like a never ending task: to clear the driveway! Finally, I delegated my husband to please take Austin inside, that he was so frozen and unhappy. “But, honey, just give me 10 more minutes. I just need to finish this little spot,” is what I assured him.
Another hour passed. I saw the light! Yes, I was approaching the final part my driveway! My arms were throbbing and fatigued. And, there it was… a plow truck coming down my street! I felt like someone was coming to save me and to assist me in completing the impossible goal I had set my mind. I ran through snow up to my waist to get the driver’s attention, and begged him to PLEASE help me with the bottom of my driveway. He smiled at me (a smile that said, “Woman, you’re crazy,”) and told me to step aside.
I felt like I had won! I did it! I ran inside and so proudly told my husband to look at the window. I asked, “Where should we go?” implying that there was a path to get out! He laughed, and told me I was relentless. The feeling of winning is still unbelievably exhilarating.
I am relentless, determined, and driven. These qualities are what made me so successful in soccer and life, but, unfortunately, hindered me when it came to food and developing an eating disorder. Today, I will appreciate these characteristics and enjoy the satisfaction of accomplishing my goal… but please know, my arms are killing me, I can’t turn my neck, and my body is aching. But, I did it, and I will dread having to go back out and shovel all over again in a few hours.