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I took the short cut. The short cut that so many athletes take. The short cut that Allie Kieffer was referring to in her latest interview with Sports Illustrated. Not only did I see skinny as being fast from my own eyes and experiences, but this belief was conveyed loud and clear from the powerful voices of coaches, leaders, and  those surrounding me within my sport. I was a competitive and driven athlete who wanted to be the best I could be in soccer.  At 5’1”, I was without question the shortest player on the college soccer field. I didn’t look like the typical tall andRead More →

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Some believe they have Gaydar, and are able to sense if a person is gay or straight. Some believe they have Jewdar, and can detect if one is Jewish. Me? I have Anodar, and I have the ability to recognize when someone is struggling with an eating disorder. After I ordered my dinner last night at a fast-food style restaurant, I made my way to the cashier to pay. The girl who took my credit card made eye contact, and our eyes locked for a split second. In that second, I wished I could say to her, “I see you. I know what you’re thinking,Read More →

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As I refreshed my newsfeed on Facebook just last night, the first post that came up was a before picture and after picture of a friend who was sharing that she has lost weight. So far she has 132 comments, and each one sends the same message: “You look AMAZING!”  “Wow. So proud of you!” “Yayyyy!” “Beautiful!!!” When I first started my new diet and exercise regimen back in college, my goal was to lose weight and get more physically fit. I had gained weight my freshman year, and as a result of society’s standards of beauty and the thin ideal, I knew I hadRead More →

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The way I felt when I came back home this morning was a feeling I knew I’d have to face at some point, but dreaded it. My heart is torn, a piece of me is missing, I’m having a hard time catching my breath, but mostly, I’m just sad.  I grew up with English Springer Spaniels and a Brittany Spaniel. The ears were what first made this breed so attractive, and then falling in love with each of their personalities gave me such joy and laughter.  But there was something about a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel: a toy version of the incredible spaniels. I dreamtRead More →

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The day I became a bat mitzvah at twelve years old, my parents enforced that I take on a new challenge and religious responsibility—to fast on Yom Kippur. This holiday was the most dreadful for me. Though I understood the significance of not eating or drinking on the Day of Atonement in Judaism, fasting was an unpleasant and gloomy day. That was until I developed an eating disorder. At the time of my eating disorder, I was restricting my calories to the extreme, and grasped onto any excuse as to why I couldn’t eat—I didn’t like the food, I wasn’t hungry, I had already eaten,Read More →

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Major networks and news stations have erupted once again with headlines featuring Serena Williams. Lately it seems that Williams isn’t being recognized and distinguished for her impressive list of accomplishments from a remarkable tennis career. Instead the focus has been on something that has and will continue to dominate and crush the minds of those who do not fit the mold of the ideal body type that society perceives as beautiful, attractive, and feminine—her physique. Serena Williams is strong, powerful and fierce. She is muscular, incredibly athletic, and passionate. She has demanded respect on the tennis court by her impressive accomplishments, and has established herselfRead More →

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I am the parent of a 4 1/2 year old with MULTIPLE life-threatening food allergies. I have lived the nightmare that no parent should ever experience—anaphylaxis—three times. When he was 21 months old a nice elderly woman in the daycare center at my gym was snacking on peanut butter crackers and offered him a bite. Here she thought she was being considerate and thoughtful by sharing her food. But, in reality she almost killed him. Over a matter of four hours, he had vomited, developed hives all over his body, and was gasping for air to get just a breath.  I live in Baltimore, butRead More →

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My 6 year old son has been asking me for the last several months to run a race together. Though the idea of signing us up sounded wonderful, I couldn’t help but have uncontrollable and intrusive thoughts creep back in head from the time of my eating disorder. At the time of my eating disorder, I not only restricted calories to the extreme, but I worked out excessively. No matter how intense the exercise, the length of time I ran, or the amount of calories burned, it never seemed enough. But, in my mind was always a minimum that I wouldn’t allow myself to fallRead More →

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If a genie in a bottle asked me to make one wish, I would wish to have the ‘perfect’ body. The genie would then ask me to define the ‘perfect’ body. Without hesitation, I insist it’s a skinny and feminine body with just enough muscle and tone to add shape and definition. This includes a perfect proportions, lengthy legs, and must have a thigh gap.  The current media worships the skinny look. We are inundated by the ‘ideal’ body type everywhere we turn: mannequins, supermodels, actresses, TV personalities, Barbie, pageant contestants, and more. Born with a short stature and athletic build, I have had cripplingRead More →

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As an athlete who competed at an elite level of soccer my entire life, I experienced the tremendous demands placed on student-athletes. Sports not only demand excellence in physical performance, but require the ability to juggle a demanding schedule including school, social events, family, and more. I strived for perfection in all aspects of my life, but particularly soccer. I placed an immense amount of pressure on myself to meet and exceed all expectations in my performance, and was willing to do whatever it took to succeed. This personality characteristic in itself made me susceptible to developing unhealthy, extreme behaviors. Sports are very time-consuming andRead More →