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The way I felt when I came back home this morning was a feeling I knew I’d have to face at some point, but dreaded it. My heart is torn, a piece of me is missing, I’m having a hard time catching my breath, but mostly, I’m just sad.  I grew up with English Springer Spaniels and a Brittany Spaniel. The ears were what first made this breed so attractive, and then falling in love with each of their personalities gave me such joy and laughter.  But there was something about a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel: a toy version of the incredible spaniels. I dreamtRead More →

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The day I became a bat mitzvah at twelve years old, my parents enforced that I take on a new challenge and religious responsibility—to fast on Yom Kippur. This holiday was the most dreadful for me. Though I understood the significance of not eating or drinking on the Day of Atonement in Judaism, fasting was an unpleasant and gloomy day. That was until I developed an eating disorder. At the time of my eating disorder, I was restricting my calories to the extreme, and grasped onto any excuse as to why I couldn’t eat—I didn’t like the food, I wasn’t hungry, I had already eaten,Read More →

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Major networks and news stations have erupted once again with headlines featuring Serena Williams. Lately it seems that Williams isn’t being recognized and distinguished for her impressive list of accomplishments from a remarkable tennis career. Instead the focus has been on something that has and will continue to dominate and crush the minds of those who do not fit the mold of the ideal body type that society perceives as beautiful, attractive, and feminine—her physique. Serena Williams is strong, powerful and fierce. She is muscular, incredibly athletic, and passionate. She has demanded respect on the tennis court by her impressive accomplishments, and has established herselfRead More →

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I am the parent of a 4 1/2 year old with MULTIPLE life-threatening food allergies. I have lived the nightmare that no parent should ever experience—anaphylaxis—three times. When he was 21 months old a nice elderly woman in the daycare center at my gym was snacking on peanut butter crackers and offered him a bite. Here she thought she was being considerate and thoughtful by sharing her food. But, in reality she almost killed him. Over a matter of four hours, he had vomited, developed hives all over his body, and was gasping for air to get just a breath.  I live in Baltimore, butRead More →

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My 6 year old son has been asking me for the last several months to run a race together. Though the idea of signing us up sounded wonderful, I couldn’t help but have uncontrollable and intrusive thoughts creep back in head from the time of my eating disorder. At the time of my eating disorder, I not only restricted calories to the extreme, but I worked out excessively. No matter how intense the exercise, the length of time I ran, or the amount of calories burned, it never seemed enough. But, in my mind was always a minimum that I wouldn’t allow myself to fallRead More →

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If a genie in a bottle asked me to make one wish, I would wish to have the ‘perfect’ body. The genie would then ask me to define the ‘perfect’ body. Without hesitation, I insist it’s a skinny and feminine body with just enough muscle and tone to add shape and definition. This includes a perfect proportions, lengthy legs, and must have a thigh gap.  The current media worships the skinny look. We are inundated by the ‘ideal’ body type everywhere we turn: mannequins, supermodels, actresses, TV personalities, Barbie, pageant contestants, and more. Born with a short stature and athletic build, I have had cripplingRead More →

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As an athlete who competed at an elite level of soccer my entire life, I experienced the tremendous demands placed on student-athletes. Sports not only demand excellence in physical performance, but require the ability to juggle a demanding schedule including school, social events, family, and more. I strived for perfection in all aspects of my life, but particularly soccer. I placed an immense amount of pressure on myself to meet and exceed all expectations in my performance, and was willing to do whatever it took to succeed. This personality characteristic in itself made me susceptible to developing unhealthy, extreme behaviors. Sports are very time-consuming andRead More →

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I was on the treadmill this morning, and struggled terribly to catch my breath while running. In an attempt to distract myself, I turned the television on, plugged in my headphones, and started watching Kelly & Ryan. I usually don’t watch morning television, and today reminded me of why. Kelly Ripa is teeny tiny and perfectly toned. Viewers see her as having the “ideal body.” Ryan Seacrest appears to have a thin build, and muscular enough, also representing an “ideal body.” As someone who has suffered from a significant eating disorder, their conversation on national television was triggering, and I can only imagine how itRead More →

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I will admit it. I love the show, The Bachelorette. My addiction to watching it started the first season in 2003 when the infamous Trista and Ryan found love on reality television. I felt somewhat personally connected to the show because at that time my academic advisor at Michigan State University for soccer (the office I spent the majority of my free time in just because I loved her company) was Trista’s first cousin. I have been hooked since. See, Trista and Ryan set the bar high. Since their season, post-show breakups have seemed to occur often, love has happened quickly, and faded even quicker,Read More →

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As a former Division I female student-athlete, I experienced gender discrimination my entire life. I was teased often because of my passion for sports, since it was more of a “boy thing,” and was body-shamed for my strength and athleticism. Sports are about strength and perseverance. I always struggled with the fact that men got to use their muscle and athleticism to fight through sports while women needed to lose their “masculine” muscles and become skinnier and toned. I’d say this is just one example of gender discrimination. But, it keeps going. The pay. We just witnessed the United States women’s national soccer team fightRead More →