Day 1 of Preseason: August 12, 2002

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I woke up in a frenzy. Sweating and breathing heavily, I frantically surveyed the eleven foot by twelve foot room my family had just moved me in. My surroundings were drastically unfamiliar and foreign, but once I realized I was in a loft next to my best friend, I instantly noted it was day one of preseason my freshman year at Michigan State University. Women’s soccer, a fall sport, required athletes to report to school earlier than the normal student population. Campus was quiet and desolate. My heart pounding was not. It was 8:00 a.m., and we were instructed to eat and enjoy our breakfast before reporting to the team lockerRead More →

It is OKAY to talk about it or ask me!

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I just returned to Baltimore last night after a 2-week trip back to Michigan. It was wonderful. The trip was comprised of time in my hometown, West Bloomfield, and time “Up North.” We were surrounded by family and friends the entire time. Our family stayed in Charlevoix, overlooking the infamous drawbridge and water that connects from Lake Michigan to Lake Charlevoix. We took a ferry to Mackinac Island, and visited Petoskey and Harbor Springs. My kids had an absolute blast between the boats, playgrounds, beaches, and biking. The weather was ideal, the lake was calm, and the people were as friendly as can be. The fudge was exceptional, theRead More →

The Louis Vuitton "Tootsie Roll" Handbag

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“Oooh! I love your bag!” is a frequent compliment I receive when out on a Saturday night with friends. I smirk, and my response back is a very simple, “Thank you.” I tend to be a very dramatic, animated, and expressive individual, so when given a praise, my exclamation back would usually be an, “Oooh! Thank you so much!” However, this Louis Vuitton “Tootsie Roll” handbag is not your typical, “I went to the Louis Vuitton store, wanted a bag, so splurged and purchased one.” This bag has far more meaning and significance, with an overwhelmingly life-altering experience behind it. Literally, this Louis Vuitton handbag turned on a switchRead More →

Desperate for Change

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I was skin and bones. So thin that every body part of mine appeared toned, defined, and sculpted. My thighs, for the first time in my life, did not rub together, my abdominal muscles looked like I had a six-pack, and my butt was finally tight and proportionate to the rest of my figure. I had dug myself into such a deep hole that climbing out seemed virtually impossible. I was in a paradoxical predicament. I knew I looked terribly frail and unhealthy. I felt weak and distant. However, I was feeling quite a sense of accomplishment in a world that felt so chaotic and outRead More →

The "Carrot and Stick"

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I was a considerably motivated child, but, the truth is, my ability to reach my utmost potential was mostly a credit to extrinsic incentives. Admittedly, I was driven to achieve goals for tangible rewards or pressures, rather than solely for personal fulfillment. It started as an elementary school student. I would bring home my homework, read the directions, barely, and then rush through it as quickly as possible like it was a race. Everything was a race to me — even in school. Whether it was solving math problems, reading a chapter book, or even writing an essay. Unfortunately, I didn’t fall under the categoryRead More →

Sporty Shoe Style

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After a friend shared this article with me the other night, I sat and reflected, as I was able to relate to it on many different levels. Kathryn Laudadio lost her life to suicide after an ongoing battle with anorexia, depression, and bipolar disorder. Unfortunately, her demons out rivaled her rational thoughts. Sure, my heart went out to her close family and friends who are still struggling from her loss. But, the two most significant aspects of Kathryn’s story that kept recurring in my mind were her personal psychological battle and her confidence and passion for shoes. Throughout my life, I have had a reputation for owning anRead More →

2015 World Cup Champions!

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As I watched the World Cup final match so intently last night, I found myself reminiscing about my past personal soccer experiences. I was a fan last night. A fan of the sport. A fan of the inspiring women on the twenty-three player roster. A fan of the United States of America. But, a fan, finally. Lori Chalupny, a current member of the U.S. Women’s National Team and 2015 World Cup champion, was my roommate in Bradenton, Florida at the age of 16. I admired Lori then, and I see her as a hero now. She was my teammate, friend, and roommate that week in Florida,Read More →

"But, you are all muscle!"

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“You have an athletic build,” is the phrase I have heard since my body began developing and puberty occurred. Prior to that point, I was a tiny, petite girl, always low in the charts in both height and weight. I suppose it was because I was too active to sit down and eat, or I was blessed with great genes. Whichever the reason, I never had to worry about my weight during my early childhood. It seemed my body began maturing and changing at the same time my social life became more elaborate and glamorous. It was the start of high school when I beganRead More →

Mordy, The Soccer Ball

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For my entire life, soccer was my identity, and I knew no different. Between year-round training, competition, and tournaments, my life had profoundly revolved around the sport. I lived to sharpen my game through constant skill work and daily fitness exercises. My accomplishments gave me pride and confidence, and most importantly,  provided me with ongoing social and psychological benefits. I had suddenly not only despised the sport I had once loved, but the mere thought of soccer made me queasy and highly anxious. Literally, the word soccer became repulsive to me. Through the entire fall season of my sophomore, I struggled to survive. I was lethargic, foodRead More →

The Disorder that can Lead to Sport Aversion

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“She grew too weak to continue performing and had to quit,” an article referred to a collegiate dancer on scholarship at Davenport College in Michigan. “I began struggling the summer before my junior year in college.. The pressure of it all, dancing in front of a large crowd, being judged a lot, that kind of caused it a little bit,” Tylor Davis reflected on her battle with anorexia during college competition. I, too, experienced an overwhelming amount of pressure during my college years in both soccer and school. Davis, unfortunately, quit the sport in which she had grown to love, enjoy, and excel. With hopeRead More →