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It only takes one moment, one second, one phrase to shatter a girl’s self-image, and take away her innocence forever. And, that defining moment can never ever be taken back as the damage has already been done. For me, that one moment was when I was told I needed to be more fit in order to perform at a higher level in my sport. I believed the only way to be more fit and faster was to lose weight. Before that moment, I never counted calories, looked at the nutrition facts panel, or “dieted.” In fact, none of those things ever even crossed my mind.Read More →

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To the girl I see at the gym everyday: Each day I walk up the steps to the cardio equipment at my gym, I hope that maybe you won’t be there. But, then again, I am relieved when I see you because I know you are still surviving. I see you. I see you wearing a sweatsuit to workout. Those baggy sweatpants that you have to tie at the waist to keep them in place. At some point in your past, they fit a completely different way. Your huge hooded sweatshirt drapes down your body as you go through the movements on the elliptical. IRead More →

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I am guilty of it, and I’ll be the first to admit it. I take a hundred different shots, delete the unsharable ones, adjust the angles, assess, edit, re-take, and then if I somehow was able to get that one perfect picture, I finally share to my newsfeed. Social media has become a place where we post and share what we deem to be “shareable” pictures and videos of our personal lives. And, while we all know that, we still question ourselves compared to others. My family traveled to Mexico for vacation just last week. As a tradition, we took family photographs by the beautiful,Read More →

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The way I felt when I came back home this morning was a feeling I knew I’d have to face at some point, but dreaded it. My heart is torn, a piece of me is missing, I’m having a hard time catching my breath, but mostly, I’m just sad.  I grew up with English Springer Spaniels and a Brittany Spaniel. The ears were what first made this breed so attractive, and then falling in love with each of their personalities gave me such joy and laughter.  But there was something about a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel: a toy version of the incredible spaniels. I dreamtRead More →

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Major networks and news stations have erupted once again with headlines featuring Serena Williams. Lately it seems that Williams isn’t being recognized and distinguished for her impressive list of accomplishments from a remarkable tennis career. Instead the focus has been on something that has and will continue to dominate and crush the minds of those who do not fit the mold of the ideal body type that society perceives as beautiful, attractive, and feminine—her physique. Serena Williams is strong, powerful and fierce. She is muscular, incredibly athletic, and passionate. She has demanded respect on the tennis court by her impressive accomplishments, and has established herselfRead More →

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If only I were skinny… I’d be so much happier. This is not the case at all. Actually, when I was my skinniest, I was the most unhappy I had ever been. I was clinically depressed, and was completely miserable. All I was able to think about was food and my body, and not gaining weight. I was trapped inside. I’d have so many more friends. See, it seems as though skinny people tend to be more popular. I worked so hard at attaining thinness that my personality completely dwindled to nothing, I had no energy, and I was withdrawn from everyone and everything. Clearly,Read More →

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My phone rang tonight, and I pulled it out to see who it was, and it was a very close friend. She was calling at an odd time, so something about that made me answer (admittedly, I ignore phone calls too many times). Before I got a word out, she blurted out, “I’m on the way to the hospital. I am bleeding.” She is just over ten weeks pregnant. And, it brought back so many vivid memories of pregnancy… of which I somehow survived three of them. Trust me. I do see it from the perspective of someone who may be struggling with infertility. ThatRead More →

Erin Konheim Mandras: I Couldn't Think of a Worse Time to Relapse

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I believe there is no better time to share this personal experience of mine than during Eating Disorder Awareness Week. Almost six years ago, actually to be exact–on June 4, 2011–I departed Baltimore, MD to head to Atlanta, GA. I had signed myself up to attend, what I knew would be the most grueling and challenging nine days, the United States Soccer Federation (USSF) “A” license course. I had managed to pass the previous four courses (E, D, C, and B), and felt prepared and ready to conquer the final, most prestigious coaching license in the U.S. I landed in Atlanta feeling grateful to haveRead More →