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As an athlete who competed at an elite level of soccer my entire life, I experienced the tremendous demands placed on student-athletes. Sports not only demand excellence in physical performance, but require the ability to juggle a demanding schedule including school, social events, family, and more. I strived for perfection in all aspects of my life, but particularly soccer. I placed an immense amount of pressure on myself to meet and exceed all expectations in my performance, and was willing to do whatever it took to succeed. This personality characteristic in itself made me susceptible to developing unhealthy, extreme behaviors. Sports are very time-consuming andRead More →

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I was on the treadmill this morning, and struggled terribly to catch my breath while running. In an attempt to distract myself, I turned the television on, plugged in my headphones, and started watching Kelly & Ryan. I usually don’t watch morning television, and today reminded me of why. Kelly Ripa is teeny tiny and perfectly toned. Viewers see her as having the “ideal body.” Ryan Seacrest appears to have a thin build, and muscular enough, also representing an “ideal body.” As someone who has suffered from a significant eating disorder, their conversation on national television was triggering, and I can only imagine how itRead More →

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I will admit it. I love the show, The Bachelorette. My addiction to watching it started the first season in 2003 when the infamous Trista and Ryan found love on reality television. I felt somewhat personally connected to the show because at that time my academic advisor at Michigan State University for soccer (the office I spent the majority of my free time in just because I loved her company) was Trista’s first cousin. I have been hooked since. See, Trista and Ryan set the bar high. Since their season, post-show breakups have seemed to occur often, love has happened quickly, and faded even quicker,Read More →

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Most of us approach daily life thinking we are safe, events are predictable, and that others are trustworthy. Unfortunately, this is not always the case, and tragedy strikes unexpectedly. Our beliefs are shattered, we lose hope, and we see life as filled with danger, uncertainty, and suffering. But, it is in these moments, in the face of adversity, that we recognize not to take things for granted. Fifteen years ago, my life flashed in front of my eyes. My initial plan to lose a few pounds spiraled out of control resulting in the development of an eating disorder. After starving myself and exercising compulsively, IRead More →

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Dear Dad, I write to you not only as your daughter, but as one of many children who came from intense, high pressure, and demanding parents. As a mother of three now, I flashback and remember everything, Dad. I remember you yelling so loudly from the sidelines with instruction. I see now it was only because you wanted me to be my best. You used to sternly tell me I didn’t play hard enough. It frustrated me then, but I now know it was because you believed hard work was the key to success. Often, you offered me an incentive if I scored a goal.Read More →

Dreams

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After several phone calls, text messages, and in-person questions, I feel it is necessary to share my thoughts on this latest scandal—a scandal that should be heard and seen by everyone—to stop it from ever happening again. As I have watched and listened to countless brave and strong women stand in court to confront and publicize their horrific, personal, and life-altering experiences related to a sick man, Larry Nassar, I have an array of feelings. First, and foremost, my heart goes out to each and every one of the 160 (and I’m sure more) innocent victims who were sexually assaulted and taken advantage of forRead More →

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As a sophomore in college, I lived off campus in a 2-bedroom apartment with my roommate. We shared a kitchen, though, at the time, we did not share food. I was consuming very little food, exercising compulsively to burn off anything I did eat (and more), and was so obsessed with food that no other thought crossed my mind. I had been diagnosed with an eating disorder months prior, and I had finally agreed to start making changes toward a healthier lifestyle. The problem was, like most things, it was so much easier said than done. One of my challenges that particular week was toRead More →

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As a young girl, my family often took a cruise vacation during Christmas week. We traveled from one Caribbean island to the next, enjoyed many excursions, applauded our way through entertainment shows, and gambled until a depressing amount of money was lost. But, above all, and most celebrated, was the food. My absolute favorite childhood food was steak. Maybe it was because I only had it for special occasions, which kept it a novelty. But, on the cruise we took when I was seventeen years old, I went crazy, and, let’s just say, truly took advantage of the all-you-can-eat aspect of a cruise. After sevenRead More →

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As if ending the season with the worst record in years, not qualifying for the conference tournament, and failing to accomplish my personal goals wasn’t bad enough. Then pile on studying for finals while, also, being responsible for working tirelessly to stay physically fit. College sports demanded excellence not just during season, but year round—in sport and school. And, finally, on top of it all, the end of the fall semester in Michigan inevitably ended with a winter storm that consisted of sleet, heavy snowfall, and freezing cold temperatures. Michigan State University’s campus is one of the biggest campuses in the nation. Just like many colleges, parking was extremely limiting–causing me toRead More →

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We are born and raised in a society where we all have the same vision of beauty and of the perfect body. We strive to conform to that picture, and when we are unsuccessful, we become extremely hard on ourselves and attempt many different strategies to reach it — exercise, diet, make-up, even surgery. It all began when my physique transformed from skin and bones to curves and muscles. Pants began fitting snugger, and my inner thigh gap gradually turned from existent to nonexistent. It seemed I became an expert at doing the “jean dance” to work the stiff denim up my legs. Shopping forRead More →