The Pressures That Kept Me From Loving Soccer

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From the time I was a little girl, I strived to please others. I thrived on praise and attention, and put all my efforts into being recognized and acknowledged. It was something I felt internally, but was never able to look inside, and see that was where my troubles were brewing. I happened to have gravitated toward soccer at the age of four. Not only did I enjoy it, but I stood out, and it came more natural to me than it did to others. It provided me a sense of accomplishment. It was clear from the start that soccer was my sport, and wasRead More →

Erin Mandras Kick the Scale

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I had received an instant message from him almost immediately after plugging in my laptop, turning it on, and signing into instant messenger. I had just arrived in Georgia to take a nine-day coaching course, with plans to travel to Michigan before heading back to Baltimore a couple weeks later. He introduced himself as, “Jon,” like I was supposed to have known who Jon was at the time. He then explained he was a friend of Jon’s — a guy I had recently gone on a date, having enjoyed his company, but knowing he wasn’t the “one.” Confused, frustrated, and annoyed at that point fromRead More →

Athlete's Anxieties When Eligibility Expires

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I spent countless hours in the weight room as a college athlete. Each session, I entered through the double doors, opened the drawer, and routinely pulled out the sheet of paper with my name at the top. There it listed each exercise, and the goal for the amount of repetitions I perform on each one. I embraced the challenges, and felt satisfaction from the pain I endured throughout each lift. I pushed with all my might as my arms trembled from the bench press, and watched through the mirror as my legs shook uncontrollably; true signs of strength, muscle gain, and resilience. The feelings were bothRead More →

Erin Konheim Mandras

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It’s like signing up for a race, not really preparing or training for it, and setting out and finishing with an unbelievable time. If you don’t beat that time the next race, do you feel as accomplished? Or, it’s like setting a personal record in collections in one week’s time. The following week, if not matched or beaten, do you feel like a failure? For me, I have a tendency to set a goal, and once reached, anything less feels unfulfilling. According to Entrepreneur and Online Marketing Expert, Neil Patel, in Entrepreneur, “When we don’t get fulfillment, our psychological response is anxiety or tension.” Based on myRead More →

Erin Konheim Mandras Blog Eating Disorders

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We were waiting to hear back the results from my 14-month-old’s endoscopy. The pediatric gastroenterologist who was caring for and treating my son had us prepared for what she anticipated the biopsy would reveal. History The prior 14 months had been exhausting, challenging, and extremely difficult as a mother and parent. The issues we faced daily since his birth included spitting up, vomiting, difficulty bottle feeding, and then refusal to eat solid foods at the time we were instructed to introduce them. Though he had struggled to initially gain weight, he somehow made it out of the “red,” and his growth became a nonissue. TheRead More →

sports-illustrated-three-covers

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Sports Illustrated Made Monumental Statement; but, it is not the answer. I have often dreamed of.. …having long, skinny legs. …not having my inner thighs touch. …fitting in a size double zero. …owning long, wavy hair. …being sized in a double “D” bra. …possessing a flat stomach. …having narrow shoulders. …having zero fat on my body. When I think of a Hollywood “model” and “beauty,” I think of all the above qualities. The standard of beauty has been illustrated in a way where, as a society, we all have the same vision of beauty and of the perfect body. As somebody who suffered terribly fromRead More →

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As someone who was significantly affected by media, attaining the ideal body type, dieting and exercising to lose weight, and taking it to the extreme, I know how celebrities influence millions of people. Whether it be through behaviors, public statements, or even photographs, they are followed and aped so closely. However, when a person, like myself, is replicating similar actions to that of a celebrity, and has a genetic predisposition and a particular personality, then one becomes susceptible to developing an eating disorder. According to an article in Huffington Post, “Dying to be thin in our celebrity-driven culture has become prevalent not only with yourRead More →

Ran to Lose

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In my pursuit for thinness and continual weight loss, exercise became a significant part to my compulsivity. As a competitive athlete, exercise was an imminent part of the daily grind. Between both individual and team weightlifting, conditioning, and practice, it seemed as though I was always training. But, my mentality had shifted. The fine line between exercising to be fit and strong, and exercising to be thin, had been crossed. In the typical college soccer season, the training schedule revolved around games. Therefore, as competition neared, training tapered in intensity and time. Tuesdays were known as the “toughest” and most grueling day of training as it followed a day offRead More →

Apathy at its Worst

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I had once been vibrant, loud, outgoing, and dramatic. I had a love for people, animals, activities, and sports. Hyper was one word that many people would have used to describe me. Unfortunately, as a result of a predisposition and genetics, and the stressful environment I was in, the obsessive compulsive disorder trait became uncovered and exposed. Consequently, it manifested into an eating disorder, ultimately resulting in depression. In 2003, there were several major events across the world and country that sparked various emotions out of millions of people. For example, in 2003, the United States planned for an invasion of Iraq due to anRead More →

OCL: Obsessive Compulsive LIAR

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Growing up, my parents instilled in my brothers and I the fundamental morals in life: to be respectful of others, be accountable and take responsibility for our actions, treat others as we want to be treated, and to ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH. Sounds reasonable, especially now as a parent. Similarly, I hope and will strive to raise my two boys with very comparable standards and values. Of course, throughout my life, I demonstrated weak moments where I was unable to live by and fulfill the expectations of good character. I was guilty on different accounts at distinctive times. The most glaring shame I recall was the year I lived as an anorexic. I was diagnosed with ObsessiveRead More →