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While I wasn’t disqualified by a referee for my school-issued uniform revealing too much bare body, I was taunted by my opponent for my uniform being too small and tight. I know how uncomfortable and self-conscious I felt, so I can only imagine how this young, innocent swimmer suffered when her hard-earned win was stripped from her because of her appearance. Before you shame anyone, please think about this: I was recovering from the most paralyzing eating disorder at the time my opponent had the audacity to make fun of how tight my uniform fit. My school didn’t have the luxury to purchase new uniformsRead More →

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I took the short cut. The short cut that so many athletes take. The short cut that Allie Kieffer was referring to in her latest interview with Sports Illustrated. Not only did I see skinny as being fast from my own eyes and experiences, but this belief was conveyed loud and clear from the powerful voices of coaches, leaders, and  those surrounding me within my sport. I was a competitive and driven athlete who wanted to be the best I could be in soccer.  At 5’1”, I was without question the shortest player on the college soccer field. I didn’t look like the typical tall andRead More →

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Major networks and news stations have erupted once again with headlines featuring Serena Williams. Lately it seems that Williams isn’t being recognized and distinguished for her impressive list of accomplishments from a remarkable tennis career. Instead the focus has been on something that has and will continue to dominate and crush the minds of those who do not fit the mold of the ideal body type that society perceives as beautiful, attractive, and feminine—her physique. Serena Williams is strong, powerful and fierce. She is muscular, incredibly athletic, and passionate. She has demanded respect on the tennis court by her impressive accomplishments, and has established herselfRead More →

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My 6 year old son has been asking me for the last several months to run a race together. Though the idea of signing us up sounded wonderful, I couldn’t help but have uncontrollable and intrusive thoughts creep back in head from the time of my eating disorder. At the time of my eating disorder, I not only restricted calories to the extreme, but I worked out excessively. No matter how intense the exercise, the length of time I ran, or the amount of calories burned, it never seemed enough. But, in my mind was always a minimum that I wouldn’t allow myself to fallRead More →

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As a former Division I female student-athlete, I experienced gender discrimination my entire life. I was teased often because of my passion for sports, since it was more of a “boy thing,” and was body-shamed for my strength and athleticism. Sports are about strength and perseverance. I always struggled with the fact that men got to use their muscle and athleticism to fight through sports while women needed to lose their “masculine” muscles and become skinnier and toned. I’d say this is just one example of gender discrimination. But, it keeps going. The pay. We just witnessed the United States women’s national soccer team fightRead More →

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Growing up in Detroit, I was raised in what I considered one of the best sports towns in the country. During my childhood, it seemed as though winning championships came naturally. My love for Detroit sports started from the time I was a baby. To this day, when I tell someone from Michigan that I was born in 1984, their immediate response is, “The year the Tigers won the World Series!” Though the Tigers were a great team to root for, I quickly became an avid hockey fan. How could I not when the city was nicknamed “Hockeytown?” I was lucky enough to witness, arguably,Read More →

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When I set out that summer of college to prepare for my sophomore season of soccer, I never in my wildest dreams anticipated that I’d be diagnosed with an eating disorder just months later. This is the exact reason I publicized my story and am doing everything I can to share my experiences. The more eating disorders are talked about and explained, the more likely we will recognize and label what we are experiencing. Naming the problem helps us identify it, and then leads way to treatment. And, early intervention is essential in helping to prevent serious psychological and health consequences. Elite athletes have aRead More →

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Dear Dad, I write to you not only as your daughter, but as one of many children who came from intense, high pressure, and demanding parents. As a mother of three now, I flashback and remember everything, Dad. I remember you yelling so loudly from the sidelines with instruction. I see now it was only because you wanted me to be my best. You used to sternly tell me I didn’t play hard enough. It frustrated me then, but I now know it was because you believed hard work was the key to success. Often, you offered me an incentive if I scored a goal.Read More →

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Ironically, my husband and I watched the movie, Titanic, the other night. The “unsinkable” ship, the largest, most luxurious ocean liner of its time, crashed into an iceberg, and took more than 1,500 of its 2,200 passengers to the bottom. The ship was going too fast, the steersman took a wrong turn, and there were too few lifeboats. The Captain felt pressured to maintain a high speed and the ships architect knew there weren’t enough lifeboats. I feel like I’m watching a sequel to the Titanic called, “Titanic II: The ‘Unsinkable’ University.” But, this one is live. This movie has dominated headlines and has consumed televisionRead More →

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It was just eight days ago that I spoke at the world’s largest gathering of soccer coaches. As I stood at the podium to present not just once, but twice, I so proudly and confidently discussed a serious issue within the sports world right now—an issue that has affected me, personally; in fact, it consumed my life during a particularly tumultuous time in college—at Michigan State University—and it nearly took my life. I had developed an eating disorder, anorexia nervosa to be specific— which has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness—as a student-athlete in East Lansing, Michigan. In 2003 I hit my rock bottom, and asRead More →