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I took the short cut. The short cut that so many athletes take. The short cut that Allie Kieffer was referring to in her latest interview with Sports Illustrated. Not only did I see skinny as being fast from my own eyes and experiences, but this belief was conveyed loud and clear from the powerful voices of coaches, leaders, and  those surrounding me within my sport. I was a competitive and driven athlete who wanted to be the best I could be in soccer.  At 5’1”, I was without question the shortest player on the college soccer field. I didn’t look like the typical tall andRead More →

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As I refreshed my newsfeed on Facebook just last night, the first post that came up was a before picture and after picture of a friend who was sharing that she has lost weight. So far she has 132 comments, and each one sends the same message: “You look AMAZING!”  “Wow. So proud of you!” “Yayyyy!” “Beautiful!!!” When I first started my new diet and exercise regimen back in college, my goal was to lose weight and get more physically fit. I had gained weight my freshman year, and as a result of society’s standards of beauty and the thin ideal, I knew I hadRead More →

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The day I became a bat mitzvah at twelve years old, my parents enforced that I take on a new challenge and religious responsibility—to fast on Yom Kippur. This holiday was the most dreadful for me. Though I understood the significance of not eating or drinking on the Day of Atonement in Judaism, fasting was an unpleasant and gloomy day. That was until I developed an eating disorder. At the time of my eating disorder, I was restricting my calories to the extreme, and grasped onto any excuse as to why I couldn’t eat—I didn’t like the food, I wasn’t hungry, I had already eaten,Read More →

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Major networks and news stations have erupted once again with headlines featuring Serena Williams. Lately it seems that Williams isn’t being recognized and distinguished for her impressive list of accomplishments from a remarkable tennis career. Instead the focus has been on something that has and will continue to dominate and crush the minds of those who do not fit the mold of the ideal body type that society perceives as beautiful, attractive, and feminine—her physique. Serena Williams is strong, powerful and fierce. She is muscular, incredibly athletic, and passionate. She has demanded respect on the tennis court by her impressive accomplishments, and has established herselfRead More →

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If a genie in a bottle asked me to make one wish, I would wish to have the ‘perfect’ body. The genie would then ask me to define the ‘perfect’ body. Without hesitation, I insist it’s a skinny and feminine body with just enough muscle and tone to add shape and definition. This includes a perfect proportions, lengthy legs, and must have a thigh gap.  The current media worships the skinny look. We are inundated by the ‘ideal’ body type everywhere we turn: mannequins, supermodels, actresses, TV personalities, Barbie, pageant contestants, and more. Born with a short stature and athletic build, I have had cripplingRead More →

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As a former Division I female student-athlete, I experienced gender discrimination my entire life. I was teased often because of my passion for sports, since it was more of a “boy thing,” and was body-shamed for my strength and athleticism. Sports are about strength and perseverance. I always struggled with the fact that men got to use their muscle and athleticism to fight through sports while women needed to lose their “masculine” muscles and become skinnier and toned. I’d say this is just one example of gender discrimination. But, it keeps going. The pay. We just witnessed the United States women’s national soccer team fightRead More →

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I was talking to a friend the other day about someone we know who may be “trying to get pregnant.” Her look of disappointment made me think she was hinting that they were struggling to conceive. I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I know one of her biggest fears in life is not being able to successfully carry a child. After I shared this with my friend, she answered, “Doesn’t every woman feel that way?” Though there may be several valid reasons for a woman to be concerned or worried about being able to get pregnant, my friend was right—everyRead More →

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Lately, I have been feeling in a rut when it comes to exercise, running, and working out. After having three kids, a double hernia surgery, and not being 21 years old anymore, I admit that I haven’t felt the best about myself and my body. My belly button is deformed, my stomach now has this pouch covering it, and it seems I am gasping for air on every machine. So, I did the scariest thing for me, and approached the head of group fitness and wellness at my gym. Let me first start off by saying she is a beast. And, not in size per-say,Read More →

Dreams

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After several phone calls, text messages, and in-person questions, I feel it is necessary to share my thoughts on this latest scandal—a scandal that should be heard and seen by everyone—to stop it from ever happening again. As I have watched and listened to countless brave and strong women stand in court to confront and publicize their horrific, personal, and life-altering experiences related to a sick man, Larry Nassar, I have an array of feelings. First, and foremost, my heart goes out to each and every one of the 160 (and I’m sure more) innocent victims who were sexually assaulted and taken advantage of forRead More →

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Pants have never been my thing. But, obviously, due to social standards, I wear them. When I look in the mirror, I see something very different than what most see. A girl referred to me as “tiny” the other day, and the only thought that went through my head was, “I wish.”  I was just wandering through a boutique today actually, and as I checked out the mannequin wearing a swimsuit, analyzed every curve, or lack thereof, and feature of its body. I saw perfection. Her inner thighs didn’t touch, she had long, skinny legs, and the flattest stomach that would even be possible. I,Read More →